Endings for the Better

Why your growth cannot be hindered

As I’ve grown up, I’ve found the dynamics of relationships to be so intriguing. For instance, I have had friendships that I once believed would last a lifetime, and I cannot begin to tell you how wrong I was. The craziest part about those friendships ending is that it only proved to be a change that my life desperately needed.

There was a time or two in my life where I befriended someone who would later become quite toxic to me. Now when I say toxic, I am talking about the type of person who never seems to be happy for you or who finds a way to minimize your achievements in life. You see, in their eyes, if they weren’t making those achievements, then I shouldn’t be either. It took me years later to figure out that their behavior had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with how they perceived themselves. If only I knew that then could I have avoided unnecessary hurt and frustration. Alas, those feelings come with the package of growing up.

My purpose in writing this is not to delve into the dirty details of what these so-called friends did, but to remind you that there is usually a method to the madness. Getting hurt, becoming frustrated, and ending those friendships ultimately helped me grow into the woman I am today. I like to think of the bad friendships as my life lessons. Lessons that taught me more about myself, my boundaries, and what I value in any relationship. I have learned that not everyone deserves a place in my world and that it’s ok. Holding onto those friendships for however long I did only brought me down and it wasn’t until I ended them that I saw just how low I got. I can only be thankful that I figured this method out in my early twenties because it has allowed me to make room for the people who are meant to be in my life — the ones who continuously raise me up instead.

The right people will bring you joy
They will remind you to be kind
And to live without judgment

The right people will keep you
And point you out of negativity

Find your people
Thank your people
And love them endlessly

— Andrea Urcuyo | 09.27.2018

Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash